.People, old and young, have said to me over the years: what was the name of that artist that cut off his ear? They are then treated to my lecture about how poor old Van Gough would probably not want to be remembered over time for this particular depressed act, but rather for a life time of hard work developing a new way to paint. This is part of my never ending effort to change popular perception of what being an artist, an what art, is all about. One person at a time, and hopefully at key teachable moments like when they ask questions.
This led me also to think about how I would like to be remembered when I finally give up the ghost a couple of decades or so hence, I think I want someone to say something like this at my funeral.
"She had a good start in life, then hit a lot of adverse circumstances in adult life. It took her a while but she finally began to learn from her challenges and gradually become an introspective person that learned humility from rejection, courage from setbacks, and patience with fate. She never gave up trying to convert people to her vision of how art figured into human experience, with some success."
Some people will label me an artist, a creative person or an effective teacher. But I just hope I will end up looking back on my life and thinking: I sometimes turned lemons into lemonade and occasionally spun gold from straw. Paintings and also life events.

Once someone told me to do something that scares me, every day. To help one overcome fears and grow. I can do it, but it takes concentration and planning. I must break down the steps, prepare for each one, then pause between steps for more courage. My twenty year old TV died and there was no helpful young man nearby to advise me. So I researched new TVs by myself, figured out what a Smart TV is (might free me from my cable bill) and selected one with good reviews. I drove to the Best Buy, handed the geeky young man the paper with the information, and he got me all set up with the right cable even though I did not quite understand his vocabulary. I had taken pictures of the back of my cable box and he showed me where to plug things in. I was prepared to stop at any moment and give up the entire pursuit, but somehow I was able to even carry the tv to my car myself and up three flights: the new tvs are one tenth the weight of my old giant box.
I took a break to gather my courage to set it up, knowing it would take patience. The set up manual has such small print, and extra information I do not want like "do not let children climb on TV". And the labels on the back of the TV are extremely hard to read. Eventually I figured out how to screw the top to the bottom: with impossible tiny screws meant to go down a long tube where I could not hold on to them. Delighting in my progress I almost didn't want to turn it on after I plugging things in. But low and behold the thing worked! I will wait until later to figure out how to make it go on wifi,
It changed me to go through this process without panicking or calling my brother or son. I can go into the future with confidence that I may be able to solve problems on my own. But also, I am willing to fail without feeling bad about myself. I feel this is an important skill for aging. Knowing limitations but having courage to try things that seem daunting. They say old age is not for sissies, and I don't intend to be one. I am a better artist too because of it. Just like taking risks in painting gives me courage in my every day affairs, having courage in every day life opens me to try new painting challenges.